This is a story about my personal life, but I want you to find yourself in my words and see the bigger picture. Spoiler alert the bigger picture is: you are always capable of more than you think.
Quick back story- I’ve been running races for around 15 years now. But several years ago I got sidelined. After a torn patella tendon, a herniated disc, pregnancy, and recovering from said pregnancy, I signed up for my first race in over 4 years.
I won’t bore you with the details of my training. I know some of you are already thinking “ewwww, running” 👎🏼.
What I will focus on is my mentality and my mentality in short was complete shit. I had anxiety about this race for weeks. That can’t sleep, hating myself for thinking I could do this, soul crushing anxiety. I repeatedly told myself I wasn’t ready for this and that I wasn’t going to do well. “I can’t do this.”
The day of the race I stood with my husband before the start with my heart POUNDING and in my head thinking “I can’t do this.” I walked to the start line thinking of my goal and best case scenario which was to run the 4 miles in 30:00 (7:30 per mile). As I toed the line with the 100+ racers my heart still pounding, I still thought “I can’t do this.”
The sound of a gun signaled the start of the race.
And that is the exact moment I quit hating myself and doubting myself and acting like a complete asshole to myself. As soon as I started running, I just felt calm and relaxed. I was finally telling myself “YOU CAN DO THIS”.
I ran 4 miles in 26:55 (6:43 per mile). Finished first place female. Fifth overall. Oh, and I broke the female race record by over 2 minutes.
So kids, the moral of the story is stop telling yourself what you’re not able to do. Stop thinking you’re incapable of accomplishing the things you’ve worked so hard for. Stop the self hatred. We are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.